Oh brother.

Hey you! (...yes YOU!) You must be wondering.. what the &%$#@ am I doing here?

That's the way I approach life.

I mean think about it. Life's too short to take it seriously anyway.
And if you live life like you're afraid to die then when you die,
you'll realize you haven't live at all or something like that.
(I'm trying to sound smart so bear with me.)

Or by the time you're through, you'll just look like an old hag.
Seriously. You don't wanna live life looking like that.

This is err, a place I call home. My comfort zone.
A place where I can do stuff without anyone nagging me about it.
Here in a loosey-goosey environment, I write. I listen. I speak. I draw.
I curse. I play. I flirt. I dance. I party. I try to entertain. I...

just do. 'Coz I want to. And you can't do anything about it.

Well, what are you doing here? Believe it or not, destiny have brought you here little one..(and serendipity perhaps?)
Everything happens for a reason. At this very moment. YOU should be here. "COINCIDENCE happens."

Since you are here just the same, please take the time to look around. I'm sure you'll find something interesting to read or look at. This thing you are reading right now won't tell you what I'm all about. See the pictures below?! (..those are navigational things and have some purpose)
So use your mouse to accomplish something..

And, oh yeah..
Make the most out of your stay

Welcome.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Real Leaf Paparazzi

or alternatively titled, An Interview with my Grandpa About Green Tea

I was fortunate enough to grow up in a close knit family. Unlike most young people my age, I actually enjoy hanging out with my grandpa. He's one of the most honest, funny, and intelligent man I know.

I remember I used to sit on his lap and he would tell me all these stories about his life. After all these years, I would STILL sit on his lap and listen to his stories. Nothings changed except that he would complain that I was heavy. I've learned so much from him.

This is why I went to talk to him when I decided to join the Real Leaf Green Tea contest. Whenever I need advice, I can expect him to give me insightful answers that will help me. I remember coming to him crying because of a girl. He then said something that should be put in greeting cards everywhere, "Anyway, she was ugly and looks like a cow. How could you kiss her?"

Since I'm working overseas, I tried to look for Real Leaf in this country to no avail. So, here's a picture of a shark to distract you.

Note to Coca-Cola: ship that thing over here. You're welcome for the free business advice. Also to the judges, I should get full marks for that picture. If you don't think sharks are awesome might I advise you to swim in shark infested waters then let's talk.

So here's the transcript of my conversation with grandpa. He speaks slow and his hearing is not that good so he repeats everything twice. This makes writing it all down easy.

--------

Ron: Hi, grandpa! It's me Ron.

Granpa: What? bomb? Get down!

Ron: No, there's no bomb gramps. Relax. It's me Ron, Ronald.

Granpa: Oh, ronald, Ronald! hold on, let me finish this show. If you have some sort of sexual disease, I don't think it'll get worse in an hour.

Ron: Gramps, you're watching the weather channel. There is no END to this show. And I'm not sick!

Grandpa: Sigh. Alright. (turning off the TV) Get off my lap and tell me what did you do now?

Ron: Wait, what? Nothing! I'm here to ask you for some help. You see I want to join this contest where the prize is 20 grand.

Granpa: Not again. You want 20k? How many times did I tell you to stop saying you're Lucio Tan's kid to impress the girls?!

Ron: What? No! And for the record, that was just one time. She was hot!

Granpa: Son, that girl has more make up than a clown. Like I said, be yourself and let girls figure out why they don't like you. I'm sure they can think of a million reasons.

Ron: But you're the one who taught me about girls!

Granpa: Heck. Just because women don't like you, you don't have to drag my ass into it. Don't be a pussy.

Okay, so I asked my sister to buy Real Leaf and take a picture of granpa while he's sleeping. Just put it beside him so he won't know. Here is it. And no, I didn't use any photo editing software.

Ron: Before we go into some other topic, let me tell you why I'm here again. I want to join this contest. The prize is 20k. It's about Real Leaf Green Tea. It's made from 100% whole grean tea...

Granpa: Great. Another one of those life prolonging things? I'm already 85. I don't need to live longer. I'm getting bored of this.

Ron: Wait, hear me out. It's like a juice but healthy and it's good for the mind and body. Don't worry it's not sugar flavored water! (holding up the Real Leaf)

Granpa: Oh I see, you're trying to poison me. Just an fyi, there's no money when I die.

Ron: No. You don't have to do anything. You don't even have to drink it. I just need to take your pic with you holding the tea and smiling. Then, just tell me one of your love stories with Granma. I'll use that to submit my entry.

Granpa: The only time I've smiled is when I don't piss on myself and I get laid. I don't see that happening anytime soon. Story? Well here's one. Your granma cooked one of those health things with less fat so I bribed the maid to steal and cook me a juicy bacon. Well, there goes the money you thought you're having when I die.

Ron: This is hopeless. I give up. Anyway, it's time for your meds right? Let me help you with that.

Granpa: If not for I want to remember what's the name of the show I'm watching, I won't take these meds. This is the part where getting old sucks.

Ron: (pouring Real Leaf onto a glass) Here are your meds and water.

Granpa: What the heck. This ain't water but this is good. What is this?

Ron: You like it? Like I said, it's Real Leaf Green Tea.

Granpa: Well what do you know? Not everyone your age screws stuff up. This tastes great. But you did screw up the earth. Global warming. Boy, am I glad I'll be long gone when the world hits the fan.

Ron: Uhmmm okay. Now for the picture and story.

Granpa: (grabbing the bottle of Real Leaf Green Tea from my hand) We're out of green tea. This is mine. I mean to say you're out of green tea. Go buy some more then we'll talk.

Okay, I'm desperate. With my Googling skills I found Gary V for Green Leaf. He's waaaaaaaay more good looking than my granpa. So, follow me. Close your eyes. Imagine Gary V with white hair. Next, make him much much older and much much uglier.

badly drawn boy was stoked at 6:54 PM :: ::

Look out! Smart-ass coming through!

Mr. Poe is a paradox. He is young yet he is old. That is from his age and his responsibilities.
He has a day job and what does he do at night? Nobody knows yet.
Whether he is a Casanova, a dead ringer for a celebrity, or a ninja, only a few people will know.
Sometimes he can be generally boring or a walking time bomb. Spontaneous.
Some sources thinks he is like a riddle and he to likes being mysterious with that poker face of his.
And he likes it that way.
If he is inspired or compelled by necessity, he likes to and writes forgettable pieces of poetry and songs or draw undecipherable works of garbage err.. arts.
Otherwise, the rest of his time is consumed by web design, painting, and sports.
Apathy. That's what he feels most of the time but wants to go to heaven. Still Optimistic.
He still believes he is a prodigy and secretly hopes he has traces of the Godfather, Beatles, and Da Vinci in his soul.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this website may not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of Mr Poe.
It is those of that stupid monkey behind the keyboard. Don't worry. He's trained and domesticated.
If you happen to disagree with some of the views and opinions in this website, don't worry.
I maybe wrong but I doubt it.

Warning: Although Mr. Poe has taken reasonable precautions to ensure no irresponsible pages, inappropriate language, or indecent behavior are present in this website,
Mr. Poe cannot accept responsibility for any loss in knowledge or damage to the brain arising from the use of this website.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Real Leaf Paparazzi

badly drawn boy was stoked at 6:54 PM :: postCount('8875184997574605080'); ::

badly drawn boy was stoked at 6:54 PM :: ::