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Oh brother.
Hey you! (...yes YOU!) You must be wondering.. what the &%$#@ am I doing here?
Loosey-Goosey. What's that?
That's the way I approach life.
I mean think about it. Life's too short to take it seriously anyway.
And if you live life like you're afraid to die then when you die,
you'll realize you haven't live at all or something like that.
(I'm trying to sound smart so bear with me.)
Or by the time you're through, you'll just look like an old hag.
Seriously. You don't wanna live life looking like that.
This is err, a place I call home. My comfort zone.
A place where I can do stuff without anyone nagging me about it.
Here in a loosey-goosey environment, I write. I listen. I speak. I draw.
I curse. I play. I flirt. I dance. I party. I try to entertain. I...
just do. 'Coz I want to. And you can't do anything about it.
Well, what are you doing here? Believe it or not, destiny have brought you here little one..(and serendipity perhaps?)
Everything happens for a reason. At this very moment. YOU should be here. "COINCIDENCE happens."
Since you are here just the same, please take the time to look around. I'm sure you'll find something interesting to read or look at. This thing you are reading right now won't tell you what I'm all about. See the pictures below?! (..those are navigational things and have some purpose)
So use your mouse to accomplish something..
And, oh yeah..
Make the most out of your stay
Welcome.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
It's A Crazy Day
...that's what one of our clients always says when he casually FORGETS to send us the stuff that we're supposed to do.
He even adds a cute little message to make us feel better (or at least he thinks he does) - Have a nice weekend!
well, how ARE we supposed to have a nice weekend when you ALWAYS send stuff at the last minute. I wish you wouldn't have one of your memory lapses (or as you call it, crazy days) because it means we won't enjoy our weekend. Dumbass.
It just kills me that they're paying this idiot way, way more than me and he is half as competent as I am. It's also that time of the year when our company hands out salary increases and rates you if you have been a good boy for the past year (in my terms, if you've been great at kissing ass for the past year).
My rating? "At par" with my peers. Normal? I, who have never been normal my entire life, is now "at par".
C'mon!
I am at par with engineers and computer science geeks when the course I graduated in HAD nothing to do with computer whatsoever and I was "at par" with them? That makes me a fucking genius!
Put me in with some business graduate and I'll kill him, downright slaughter him and leave him for the vultures to feast on his rotting corpse.
A bit graphic but you get my point.
Now I am evaluating my options. Maybe this isn't my gig after all. Maybe I am supposed to do something else with my life. Maybe I'm not supposed to pursue my dreams and instead focus on something else like:
...crushing someone else's. Watch out!
Monday, August 28, 2006
Hate It Forward
I usually have a lot of crazy ideas and most of the time I just do it for the heck of it. I mean life is short as it is so it wouldn't hurt to try, right?
Oh, and it usually gets me into trouble.
So I decided to join this writing competition in The Philippine Star, a newspaper here in the Philippines, to the tune of the cash prize that make my eyes popped out like a couple of dollar signs you see in cartoons.
As with all my crazy ideas, this one had all the makings of being a disaster:
1. I don't know how to write.
2. I don't know how to write.
3. then, it just dawned to me that this is a writing competition.
But I have a few things going for me, for one I am HILARIOUS. I also work cheap. (They pay you to write if you win aside from the prize.) and lastly, I write about important things. Girls, taking a dump, and monkeys. No more of this politics, life, and love stuff.
I don't think I've got to tell you the ending to this story. Happy endings are for suckers. We live in the real world. I got it.
I just have a few thoughts about THAT newspaper:
1. I just can't compete with guys who have a master in writing or whatever. You can be smart but it takes skill to be interesting. Most of them are bores. Snooze.
2. I only read Jessica Zafra's, Boo Chanco's, and Mark Nelson's columns. They are the people who keep it real. I'm still unsure about Chanco's. He has his good and bad days. The article about Ateneo education, uhmmm, not good Boo. Not good at all. And they scrapped Nelson's column. All the others try to put a little sugar on top to what they write. Those fakers. Tell me as it is. Just like I'm telling you guys right now. You suck.
3. I don't want to read more of your sappy life stories. Boo-hoo, so your boyfriend left you. What else is new? Get over him that's my advice. So, daddy bought you a new car? Whoppee. How many people are starving because you're dad who works in the government had the stomach to pocket a few million. Still wanna drive your NEW car? I guess you should be rich/famous to have a column in the newspaper. You may suck but magically have the ability to write.
4. Paying me ten times would be equal to paying Jessica Zafra once. I'm THAT cheap. Plus wouldn't it be fun just for kicks for me to smoke pot and just let me write whatever? I mean really. C'mon, the newspaper won't be sued at all and instead you guys can put ALL the blame on me.
5. I have more interesting stuff to say than ten of you monkeys combined so that makes me OVER qualified for the job.
6. and besides, your column is not interesting unless you bash somebody or have something witty to tell me. I hate my life. Now I want to hate yours.
Well, I love this girl's column where she talks about the Internet. I just don't know if she is trying to be funny or just a plain idiot. Thanks a lot honey. Now I know there are more dumb people on earth than me.
I will now go in peace. I hate you all.
(I will post my FABULOUS entry that I submitted next time.)
Friday, August 25, 2006
No, Not Yet.
After my last post, I guess we should all move along. There's nothing to see here besides roadkills. Since I felt so lazy today, I decided to browse around and saw this written on someone else's blog...
"You're an idiot on so many levels, that I feel almost overwhelmed. Science can learn a lot from someone this stupid."
I laughed out loud on that one. Too bad the office was quiet as hell. THAT was a winner to me.
Also in my last post I was thinking of quitting my job when I took this test to see if I could start on own company and end up with this...
Guess I won't be quitting anytime soon.
meanwhile...
There's a lot of stupid people in this world. I mean really. One of the Most-Searched-For Word on AOL was "Google." I'm not kidding.
Lastly, if you're like me and strapped for cash then sell some of your office's supplies that nobody uses.
Got the picture from officepirates.com. Good times!
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Sick, Sad Little World
Do you know the feeling when it's just you and your buddies in a bar drinking booze and checking out the ladies or when you're in your buddy's place and enjoying the game or playing poker with some chips and booze on the side? That's kinda what it feels like when I'm at work.
It's just unbelievable that you throw a couple of strangers together and when you look at us now you would thought that we guys knew each other waaaaayy back in high school. That has never happened in any place I've worked for before.
Never. Believe me.
In some of the places I've worked before, it was like you were forced to like the people you're working with. You put on a fake smile and pretend everything's fine when what you really want to do is stab them with a knife in the back. It was that or you get stabbed first.
But here we just clicked. We laugh and traded jokes. We made fun of everyone including ourselves. We talked about girls. That made work a little bit bearable for me really. I wouldn't have stayed this long in my job if it wasn't for this. The pay is so-so. The work is sorta okay. Benefits? Average to say the least. But the relationships? Unheard of. It was like college all over again.
And now they're breaking up the team. If you caught the movie "In Good Company", where the guy gets demoted and gets a boss half his age while his friends were getting fired, it's sorta like that. "Business needs" is what they call it and my project had to "let go" some of the people. They are not canned or anything but are moving on to other projects. It's sad really.
Now I'm thinking, "What's next?"
It doesn't help that when I read this article about signs that it's time to find a new job, I can relate to 4 of the 5 signs, which is NOT good at all. Heck, it could be worse. It could be all.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
By Invitation Only
Last week, I was "privileged" (in quotation marks because if I dunno if that's the right word to use) to be able to attend a private sale in a store called TopShop.
In case you guys don't know what TopShop is, it's kinda like Mango. If you still don't know what Mango is then I suggest you go to the market. (Bad joke, I know.)
Well, they have a guy's department called TopMan which have nice threads. So, I decided to check it out. It's something to look good but to look the part is something else.
Some things right off the bat:
1. The place is a goldmine for girls. Like what I said before about Mango, the place is literally crawling with beautiful women, all shapes, all sizes, all kinds. It's like taking someone who loves cars so much to a trade show which shows the best cars the industry has to offer.
2. I now believe that 80 no make that 90 percent of the male population in the Philippines is gay. I don't know if I should be flattered that gay guys are checking me out. Now only if girls would look at me that way then I could die a happy man.
3. Some guys believe that wearing a fitted shirt make them look more "macho". Here's a reality check for you buddy. Your body doesn't look big; your clothes are just tight. I saw this one guy who had a stomach so big that look like he was about to give birth in the next month and had the balls to ask the store guy, "May small ba kayo nito?"
ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY? You have a belly the size of a whale! What the heck will you do with a small t-shirt?
4. I saw some celebrities. No biggie. Looking at them up close makes you realize, "Hey, they're human after all."
5. Lastly, shopping with other guys feels gay. Maybe it's just me. But I would never EVER do it again.
Anyway, I got a cool shirt that involves two sperms talking to each other.
Sperm 1: How far are we from the egg?
Sperm 2: Very far. I think we just passed the tonsils.
Hahaha. It's a bit gross but I find it funny.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Sexy Back or Front?
Listening to JT's SexyBack got me thinking, what would you rather have? a "sexy" back or a "sexy" front.
If you have no clue as to what I'm talking about, go run to mommy or daddy.
I've been asking some of my friends just for the heck of it and so far it's dead even. I, myself, am torn. I really can't pick either one.
Personally, I like "proportionate" looking girls. But that's just me. Anyway, I found this picture on one of my friend's blog.
Now, that ladies and gentlemen, is how an ass should look like. Another good example would be Beau Garrett (look her up) on Entourage Season 1. Sorry folks, I couldn't find any picture of her buns on the net. If you find one, bless your soul, please give me a copy.
Oh, that's Mena Suvari, by the way.
Disclaimer: This is based on looks alone. If you want a deep and meaningful relationship, you may want to re-visit your options. If you pick someone based on looks alone then nine out of ten times, your relationship won't last (I might be wrong, who knows?) I'd rather have someone who is not smoking hot but still pretty and have chemistry with than someone who looks like a goddess but is an idiot. Just like what Kid Rock says, "Even solid-gold p**** gets boring."
Well said, well said indeed.
Scratch everything I said if this is a fly-by-night thing (I don't wanna use the cliche term "one night stand". If you don't know what fly-by-night means then look it up.)
Friday, August 11, 2006
Stoopid
This is how my computer monitor looks like at work. Seriously.
Now can you guys blame me if my brain slowly turns into mush? I don't think so. I can literally feel my brain cells dying one by one. No, they don't die the easy way. Getting shot by an AK-47 would be the easy way. No sireee, they die the hard way! They are slowly being tortured to death.
What the heck am I doing here?
I am now staring at my computer, officially wasting time, and looking forward to old age and death.
Whoppee.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Rainy Tunes
You just can't get the weather. One minute it's raining, blink, and guess what? The sun is shining already. This makes me a firm believer that somewhere out there is a madman with his itchy finger on a button controlling the weather.
Oh well, this might be the result after reading Sidney Sheldon's "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" Good read, I tellya.
So what have I been listening to pass time and my sanity?
I have been playing two songs over and over again and these are Gnarls Barkley's Crazy and Foo Fighter's Everlong, the acoustic version.
No reason really. I just like them.
But after a recent mishap that happened to me, I crashed my car's bumper on a post somewhere, I decided to start listening to something else. Bad luck I guess or just plain stupidity. You pick. I'll go with the latter one.
Now it's JT's Sexy Back and Ne-Yo's Sexy love.
You just can't beat lyrics like "I'll let you whip me if I misbehave" and "she makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up."
Besides, they both start with the word "sexy" which I really like. Don't you agree?
Look out! Smart-ass coming through!
Mr. Poe is a paradox. He is young yet he is old. That is from his age and his responsibilities.
He has a day job and what does he do at night? Nobody knows yet.
Whether he is a Casanova, a dead ringer for a celebrity, or a ninja, only a few people will know.
Sometimes he can be generally boring or a walking time bomb. Spontaneous.
Some sources thinks he is like a riddle and he to likes being mysterious with that poker face of his.
And he likes it that way.
If he is inspired or compelled by necessity, he likes to and writes forgettable pieces of poetry and songs or draw undecipherable works of garbage err.. arts.
Otherwise, the rest of his time is consumed by web design, painting, and sports.
Apathy. That's what he feels most of the time but wants to go to heaven. Still Optimistic.
He still believes he is a prodigy and secretly hopes he has traces of the Godfather, Beatles, and Da Vinci in his soul.
Disclaimer:
The views and opinions on this website may not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of Mr Poe.
It is those of that stupid monkey behind the keyboard. Don't worry. He's trained and domesticated.
If you happen to disagree with some of the views and opinions in this website, don't worry.
I maybe wrong but I doubt it.
Warning: Although Mr. Poe has taken reasonable precautions to ensure no irresponsible pages, inappropriate language, or indecent behavior are present in this website,
Mr. Poe cannot accept responsibility for any loss in knowledge or damage to the brain arising from the use of this website.
I don't care what people think. People are stupid.
...my own posts that I don't actually read but
makes me look cool coz my mom reads it. hi, mom!
...now some words from my sponsors
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